One of the key critical areas for our mental health and wellbeing is how and what we think about and how we process our thoughts. Thoughts are intangible things but very tangible in creating feelings and emotions
We are taught academically but never taught about real life; never taught how to think correctly to maintain our mental health, strength and wellbeing
We think worry is necessary but it serves no useful purpose
Mindfulness and an understanding of knowing that a feeling/what we are experiencing is just our perception of reality in the moment created by our thoughts (based on our past knowledge/experience/beliefs etc;) is simply not enough for us to gain peace of mind and be worry free
Clarity and peace of mind is achieved by applying the correct intervention process with our thoughts to defrag all the unnecessary and inappropriate garbage that is generally the greater percentage of what the greater majority tend to think about
Ask yourself the question – if, when you think about something it makes you feel bad why are you continuing to do that, why are you continuing to let that thought affect you. Why are YOU making yourself feel bad?
Due consideration is not worry. Due consideration is focusing on a solution, a decision, a judgement call based upon all the facts and information presented to us at that time
Many people I help continue to berate and feel less of themselves when they have made a mistake or taken a wrong decision in the past. That’s being wholly unfair on themselves simply because when they took that judgement call that was them then in the past not them now in the present. The decision that they made in the past generally was 100% the best one that they felt was right for them at the time based on their due consideration elements
Hindsight is a wonderful thing but regrets are a complete waste of time (and our mental energy)
If you find yourself dwelling on past experiences and that you are still letting them negatively impact on you then ask yourself 3 questions – 1) What could I have done differently to get a better outcome. What do I know now that I didn’t know then 2) What skills would have allowed me to get what I wanted out of the situation 3) What are the lessons I can choose to learn from this
Simply by changing the base assumptions lying beneath your questions, you can profoundly shift the angle from which you may have been seeing the problem and create a new, positive lens through which to view the past situation
Questions can play an important part of how we understand ourselves, how we self-talk to ourselves as well. it can enable individuals to re-frame their minds and perspective on life.
When you allow yourself to play the “what if?” game — to speculate about additional problems that one potential problem might cause — worries multiply, each making the next seem worse.
When we pour our fears and concerns onto something we are giving those fears and concerns energy and power thus constricting our freedom and possibilities
How many times have you worried yourself about something and then whatever it is you were worrying about never happened or was never as bad as you thought it was going to be?
Usually, you may find that one worry will tend to lead to another and soon you are pretty overwhelmed with the potential for problems and subsequent depreciation of your wellbeing/self esteem/confidence etc
If you must play the “What if?” game, play it to win
Worry never changes anything apart from how we are feeling. Giving due consideration and taking action changes things
Keep in mind that in the past when undue things may have happened you have always handled them; which means that whatever happens in the present or future you will always handle whatever comes along
Through most of our life we are bombarded with so many thoughts, fears and ideas that are not authentically ours. We are distracted, alienated and taken off course from our purpose and real life aspirations. The more unconsciously we follow the signs posted by society rather than our own internal true calling the farther we drift off course….the more distant we get from achieving our happiness/life ambitions/comfort/peace of mind
If something is wrong in your life, try to fix it if you can. Everything always works out, one way or another. However, train yourself not to worry, I teach people a thought processing strategy that has proven to work with thousands of people
Remember: Worry never changes anything, it serves no useful purpose
ps – In the past I had listened to the video of Steve Jobs (Apple, if you don’t know!) famous Stanford commencement speech but never read the narrative. You may have done the same. Try reading the full text of the speech that he gave in 2005
You might find you get a different inspiration and perspective by reading the full transcript from the original video – you will find it here